Author: John Affleck

Have you ever been in a situation where someone is talking to another person so loudly that other people are also following the conversation? The person talking is usually not aware of this. I have seen this happen many times in very common places e.g. at the dinner table, on the bus, etc.

If the person suddenly recognizes that other people are “tuned in to the conversation” there is usually a moment of self-awareness followed by embarrassment. This is a good example of a lack of awareness of oneself. There are many other examples where people are unaware of their own being. It can easily be avoided by being tuned into your own environment and being conscious of your own actions

In our daily lives it is vital that we adequately recover our energy to avoid burn-out. Although easier said than practiced, all tasks in life should be approached with a positive attitude which requires a sufficient energy source. Pushing oneself without time to recover will lead to both mental and physical sickness.

While attending the 1997 Wing Chun (Ving Tsun) Kung Fu workshop in Ohio USA, I recall a seminar by Mickey Chan, a respected sifu and senior student of Moy Yat, a student and disciple of Yip Man.  In the context of the Kung Fu, Sifu Mickey stressed the importance of recovery. Once one finishes a “technique” one should recover the energy before proceeding with the next technique, rather than combining them in a continuous motion. This can be only a matter of milliseconds but still enough time to recover the energy.

Without going into too much detail, I would like to dedicate two lines of text and speak directly to those who study the Wing Chun Kung Fu.  Recovery is particularly evident in the sticky hands exercise referred to as chi-sau. Once a technique is executed in the chi sau, a split second is required before following up with another technique(s).

In today’s world most everyone is in a constant state of rushing. With your mind properly focussed and your body relaxed, imagine in our daily lives what ten minutes of “recovery” could do? Imagine what an hour could do?

Your ego can interfere with a lot. So much has been written on the ego. Quite simply, don’t let your ego interfere with sharing your love and your knowledge. When you reach out and teach what you have learned, when you are not afraid of sharing your love, you become more self confident and more at peace with yourself.

When you are at peace with yourself, there is no need to talk about yourself or to brag and boast about your accomplishments in life – especially material gain. I have found that the most accomplished people are usually the most reserved and less likely to talk about themselves. There is no need to. This is especially important for the trained martial artist. As Germain Glidden has so eloquently stated “The older I grow, the more I listen to people who don’t say much”.

If someone is genuinely interested in your life and seeks your advice, by all means convey what you know. Try your best to allow the other person to talk, re-framing from jumping in and monopolizing the conversation. Assist and share wherever possible. Questions should be welcomed. Always be aware that you too are open to learning. Each and every one of us has something to offer

Everyone gives off energy. It is either positive or negative. I have never been able to actually see energy but I have learned to recognize it. It is an essential skill for a trained martial artist. Once this awareness is developed, you will always possess it. In many ways it is a curse. Many people emit negative energy. Whether it is in a relationship, a life-threatening situation or sitting around the boardroom table – we have all experienced this.

There is no magic in learning this skill. When you first meet someone, ask yourself the question: what energy vibe am I getting? Your first instinct is usually correct. Negative energy will always be near by. Learn to be aware of this fact.

Learn also to avoid having your energy drained away. A person with positive energy can also be someone who drains your energy. Regardless of good intentions, sometimes the chemistry is just not there.

The trick is to recognize those who emit positive energy which reinforces your own. Surround yourself with them. Enjoy your time rather than waste it. It is amazing how much happier your life can be.

I find that many people spend a lot of their time and energy complaining about their current situation in life. It may be that they find themselves in a job that they dislike or perhaps an unhappy marriage or relationship.

The answer for the “perpetual complainer” is found by asking oneself two simple questions. The first question is are you in or are you out? If you are “out”, then you must make the decision and then take the necessary steps to get out. If you decide to remain “in” then you have only two choices: get bitter or get better. Getting bitter will put you back to square one and you will have to re-evaluate you decision to stay. If you remain bitter you will feel tired, frustrated, and you will one of those persons emitting a negative energy field. You will not be happy. If you decide to stay, getting better is your only option.